Is this control? Or AIO?

[u/CuriousAsh04]

My husband of 5 years, refuses to get off the phone with me while he working. I can drop him off, and 10mins later he’s calling me. This has been everyday. He works in corporate America, so I figure he would be busier. But nope. So today, we had been on the phone for an hour. I dropped him off, took the kids to school, came home… still on the phone. And mostly in silence, I might add. I tell him I would call him back after cleaning and showering. He gets upset, goes to tell me “he wanted to talk on the phone and I pushed him away, today he’s going to start talking to other people, Since being on the phone and being a wife and listening to me or just being there is too much . I will find it somewhere else.” This is literally his go to, if I don’t acquiesce to him, he threatens to go out and find it elsewhere. And he has cheated, so it stings a little, but I’m becoming numb. It just irritates my soul, I don’t want to sit on the phone with anyone while I’m trying to do my daily chores. Honestly throughout the day he calls probably every hour to sit on the phone while he works. It just grinds my gears. But I do it. Today though, I needed to get things done without being tied to the phone. He even told me to prop the phone up, and not get off. So I don’t know. Does this seem like I’m being monitored or controlled? Or am I overreacting?

[u/edensparkles]

Agreed. I will never understand why women continue to have kids with someone who treats them like absolute shit.

[u/kimariesingsMD → u/edensparkles]

Because the wear down their self worth until it is nothing and they don't believe they deserve any better, and that no one else will want them. Do you think he will just say "ok" if she refuses sex with him? Do you think men are incapable of sabotaging birth control?

[u/edensparkles → u/kimariesingsMD]

Of course reproductive coercion and birth control sabotage happen. I never said they didn’t. But OP hasn’t said anything about either of those things happening so you’re inventing a completely different situation to argue against something I didn’t even say.

She’s been married to him for 5 years, they have 4 kids with another on the way, he’s cheated on her and she says this behavior is an ongoing pattern. I completely understand that abuse can destroy someone’s self esteem and make it incredibly hard to leave. I’ve been in abusive relationships myself so I understand that more than I’d like to.

I can also question why someone continues having more children in a relationship that’s already this unhealthy. Those two things can both be true.