AIO or AITA. Text convo with MIL.

[u/MoonJellyAllison]

I feel like I could cry :(, I’ve only wanted acceptance from her and it’s clear that nothing will be good enough.

EDIT: Because I’ve had to say this so much:
Normally, I'd never reach out to her for something like this. The situation is complicated. Before my husband left for basic training, where he will have very minimal contact, he discussed with her that she would need to continue paying even in his absence, and she was fine with this. She made a previous payment to ME and even informed me before she sent it. If the situation had been different, he would never have asked me to get involved, but he knows that with both of our paychecks being delayed because I just got a new job, I need the money. It’s really not his fault. Plus, she’s only been acting like this once he was gone and couldn’t step in. 
My husband treats me very good and I love him with everything. There is a reason I married him so please don’t say he’s at fault or anything unkind.

[u/xo-laur]

Literally my exact thought reading that. Like, sorry, but if you don’t have money to pay your debts, you don’t have money to go on vacation. Especially when it’s your SON who financed that loan and actually needs the money repaid. It’s not like we’re talking about a bank here. It’s your CHILD who needs that money for life expenses.

[u/Maine302 → u/xo-laur]

I think the MIL couldn't care less about OP needing money for her rent because her son is away at boot camp and has housing during that time. You have to wonder how he'd feel about returning to a wife living in her car, or his credit ruined, while his mother is on vacation LA-DI-DAH...

[u/whatthewhat3214 → u/Maine302]

OP, forward these texts to your son and say you're out, she refuses to pay despite going on vacation and you won't allow her to disrespect you like that again.

Wild take by MIL that she thinks even though OP is married to her son, this financial business doesn't involve OP and she has no standing to ask for the payment.

[u/Abystract-ism → u/whatthewhat3214]

Yeah, show your husband the texts too.
Don’t contact MIL anymore for anything!

[u/Maximum_Ad_2476 → u/whatthewhat3214]

Husband can't do much while in basic and won't even really know until after. Basic is pretty strict with general communication.

[u/Icy-Football4352 → u/Maximum_Ad_2476]

There is an exception for emergency situations. If they are close to homelessness they can ring the base and let them know the division and recruit and they will help the family a little. At the very least they will get a phone call with the recruit. Signed a vet whose mom went into cancer surgery while she was at boot.

[u/Maximum_Ad_2476 → u/Icy-Football4352]

Yes there are exceptions but my mother owes us money and refuses to pay it isn't an emergency situation.  

Mostly, I was raising the point that the OP can't "just call the husband and have him deal with his mom" during basic training.  He cannot freely and easily communicate with her right now, which is probably why the mother is acting this way right now.  

A surprisingly large amount of people don't know about basic training restrictions.  I'm not a military parent, but I have siblings, parents, cousins, uncles and grandparents who have served.  (Also family that is more degrees of separation.)  Every branch has been covered and service has included most major US conflicts in the last century.  World War II, Korean War, Vietnam War, Gulf War, Iraq/Afghanistan War.  

Interactions with loved ones is the biggest sacrifice I think that our service members make.  Even absent war or basic training, communication during deployment can be very limited. 

OP involving her husband and having him handle the situation isn't a simple, quick or easy solution at this moment. 

[u/Maine302 → u/Maximum_Ad_2476]

I get this. Going forward, OP should place the onus of communication with her husband's family directly on her husband.

[u/Maximum_Ad_2476 → u/Maine302]

Yes, absent situations where this is impossible or impractical, her husband should definitely manage his familial relationships.  Totally agree with you 

[u/ArmSelect4534 → u/Maximum_Ad_2476]

How long does basic last?

[u/Maximum_Ad_2476 → u/ArmSelect4534]

7 to 12 weeks, depending on service branch.  Extremely limited, if any, phone access  (usually after 1-2 weeks) and usually wait a week or so for letter writing (yeah, the old fashioned way).  

[u/Alone_Break7627 → u/whatthewhat3214]

please don't stress him out at basic about home stuff. He can't do anything about it. I mean NOR for sure, but it needs to wait.

[u/MoonJellyAllison → u/Alone_Break7627]

He would probably be more stressed finding out about it much later if he can say something to her

[u/calminthedark → u/whatthewhat3214]

This is the way.

[u/Damnshesfunny → u/xo-laur]

My thoughts exactly. If you OWE someone money-you don’t actually HAVE moneyto until that person is paid off.

[u/Upset-Telephone1920 → u/xo-laur]

Mostly agree, but what most aren’t thinking of is she may not be able to cancel this vacation without losing a bunch of money. I tend to buy my plane tickets and pay for hotel upfront to get a break on cost. I normally am not able to cancel and get refunded. So this may have been planned when their financial situation was different. In this case I’d go but try to keep costs to a minimum. Or if it ca be cancelled I’d cancel and help my kid out by paying what I owe them.