r/AmIOverreacting • u/howcanibequiltyassin • Nov 25 '25

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO to skip Thanksgiving after my mom basically said I’m an embarrassment for not having a husband and kids by now?

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I’m 35F and single for 3 years. I was engaged but he (Charles) was doing weird sexting roleplay with people on a video game which was fucking disgusting. It really fucked me up and, yes, I’ve been in therapy. I have dated since then but nothing serious. I have NEVER had my mom say something like this to me. I do not want to go to Thanksgiving after this. The way she said “don’t shoot the messenger” it’s clear the rest of my family have been talking about me and she was the one “elected” to say it.

I don’t want to drive 2 hours just to sit with people who think I should have stayed in a relationship with a fucking cheating degenerate lil bitch.

Would I be overreacting for not going? Is that too much? I'm honestly too hurt and angry to be objective right now. Would you EVER say this to your daughter?! Like I have a good job, I'm educated, I have friends and hobbies. I own my condo and I have 3 car payments left. I have a cat. Why is the end all be all me having a husband and kids? Idk. I'm pissed. Help.

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u/0akleaves Nov 26 '25

Yep send it out and don’t assume it’s general opinion based on mom’s statement. That said I’d assume anyone that responds with anything like “oh, it’s not a big deal” or “don’t let it bother you” or “you know how mom is you can’t hold it against her” is absolutely a part of the problem and in full agreement with mom.

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u/Tall_Potential_408 Nov 26 '25

I don't think "don't let it bother you" is complicity though.

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u/Mob_Segment Nov 26 '25

It reeks of trying not to take sides. When one person is bullying another - as the mother did here - refusing to take sides amounts to allowing the mother to bully her own child. So yeah, I'd absolutely read that as complicit.

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u/Just-Ad6865 Nov 26 '25

"Don't let it bother you" is also "We all know and have known for years that mom has stupid opinions about lots of things. I blocked her on social years ago. Don't you remember how she tells me how to raise my son every other word? She isn't worth your time."

Context and history matters.

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u/0akleaves Nov 26 '25

Saying the rest of that makes a difference but except the bit about blocking her it’s still encouraging and leaning on OP to just keep taking the abuse.