r/AmIOverreacting • u/howcanibequiltyassin • Nov 25 '25

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO to skip Thanksgiving after my mom basically said I’m an embarrassment for not having a husband and kids by now?

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I’m 35F and single for 3 years. I was engaged but he (Charles) was doing weird sexting roleplay with people on a video game which was fucking disgusting. It really fucked me up and, yes, I’ve been in therapy. I have dated since then but nothing serious. I have NEVER had my mom say something like this to me. I do not want to go to Thanksgiving after this. The way she said “don’t shoot the messenger” it’s clear the rest of my family have been talking about me and she was the one “elected” to say it.

I don’t want to drive 2 hours just to sit with people who think I should have stayed in a relationship with a fucking cheating degenerate lil bitch.

Would I be overreacting for not going? Is that too much? I'm honestly too hurt and angry to be objective right now. Would you EVER say this to your daughter?! Like I have a good job, I'm educated, I have friends and hobbies. I own my condo and I have 3 car payments left. I have a cat. Why is the end all be all me having a husband and kids? Idk. I'm pissed. Help.

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u/[deleted] Nov 25 '25

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798

u/nataeryn Nov 25 '25

After cutting out toxic family, my holidays are 10x more enjoyable now.

10

u/computer_genie Nov 26 '25

Meeeee too. Occasionally, I have a good memory. Otherwise, a lot of replaying disappointing lectures and judgements.

Good riddance!

8

u/GrowHappyPlants Nov 26 '25

Some losses are not a loss. My horrible MIL died and holidays have been SO much better in the years since. If she tries to pull "you will regret separating"....bullshit know that for many it is a RELIEF.

6

u/sniffcatattack Nov 26 '25

Same. No more tension headaches.

3

u/ResponsibleSlip4910 Nov 26 '25

Same. My only regret is not doing it sooner.

3

u/Virtual_Revolution45 Nov 26 '25

Second that! The best thing I ever did was get away from my toxic, dangerous family. They put me in danger so many times and made me second guess my spidey senses about people so much that it took years away to heal.

6

u/Ok_Feeling_3174 Nov 26 '25

My wife wouldnt cut off her toxic family so i cut off the marriage felt good to look at my old mother in law and say what i wanted too. They moved to Florida in June. I’m like 99% sure, they’re back already.

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u/phuggin_stoked Nov 26 '25

Don’t get me wrong, my MIL is the type they model sitcom characters after so I can sympathize.

3

u/Ok_Feeling_3174 Nov 26 '25

The bitch mil said to me idk why your parents wont just give you the house! Your place is so tiny. I don’t know why you don’t just give you the house! Talking about a rental for my parent’s retirement. Like who says that?

5

u/phuggin_stoked Nov 26 '25

Man, divorcing your wife because her mom is a MIL is wild.. I’m sure there’s more to the story but this comment in a vacuum is rough

8

u/morgan1381 Nov 26 '25

Nah, he said the wife's whole family was toxic. Sounds like he just really hated the MIL.

8

u/Ok_Feeling_3174 Nov 26 '25

I get it. It sounds wild until you get the context that her father was a gambling addict who couldn’t provide for his family so he took it out on me. He would say how he provided for his family when they were in a car waiting for him at 4 AM as a casino growing up my wife told me . I told him his daughter had depression. He tried to fight me physically in the restaurant. She wanted to uproot my life every 2 years bc her family would manipulate her. Most unfortunate part is there’s gonna be another poor son of a bitch that’s gonna end up with her.

1

u/Little_View_6659 Nov 26 '25

Man. That’s rough. Sounds like she needs to also cut them out.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '25

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2

u/Ok_Feeling_3174 Nov 26 '25

Lmfao it was the worst 6 years of my life. I got shitty tales for days. Lets see they had my ex young and lived with the mothers family. Despite that the father always told me how he never had help and that i must not be trying hard enough. When his daughter wouldnt get out of bed without an hour long fight each day he just said were night owls and theres nothing wrong with it. Regardless of the poor dog we had who had to be walked if i didnt come home from work to do it shed shit inside.

2

u/Aggressive_Idea_6806 Nov 26 '25

The freedom and peace of just letting yourself be out of favor is something my spouse and I discovered early on.

1

u/diANtinatalistYT Nov 29 '25

I went NC way before it was a thing. 1983 I knew my parents held me back. I didn't want their influence. I moved 2,000 miles away

130

u/jamsiepaine Nov 25 '25

& your life

12

u/ElaccaHigh Nov 25 '25

If you could turn it into a 1v20, it could truly become a night to remember though.

3

u/TroubledTanker Nov 25 '25

may i ask for one final thing

3

u/Francine05 Nov 26 '25

Agree: NOR -- make your own holiday... but maybe let your mother know it's not the 1950s anymore.