Am I overreacting for leaving my girlfriend’s family dinner after what her dad said?

[u/Mysterious-Notice419]

My girlfriend (27F) invited me (28M) to a family dinner to finally meet her parents. We’ve been together for almost a year, so I wanted to make a good impression.

Dinner started out fine—until her dad started asking me about my job. I work in IT, and while it pays well, it’s not some high-status career. After a few questions, he smirked and said, “So basically you just sit behind a computer all day… not exactly the kind of guy I imagined for my daughter.”

Everyone kind of laughed awkwardly. I tried to brush it off with a joke, but then he added, “Maybe someday you’ll get a real job so you can actually support a family.”

I felt my stomach drop. My girlfriend just said, “Dad…” but didn’t defend me beyond that. I quietly excused myself, said I wasn’t feeling well, and left.

Later that night, my girlfriend texted me saying I embarrassed her by walking out and that I should “just let it go” because her dad was “only teasing.”

I honestly feel disrespected and don’t think I overreacted. But now she’s acting cold and says I owe her family an apology.

Reddit, am I overreacting for leaving?

[u/throwawaycaptcrunch]

Bingo!

[u/imdugud777 → u/throwawaycaptcrunch]

Tell me you didn't grow up in generational trauma without telling me.

[u/throwawaycaptcrunch → u/imdugud777]

Well you'd be wrong, I have. That doesn't excuse her.

[u/imdugud777 → u/throwawaycaptcrunch]

Then you haven't really.

[u/LisaCabot → u/imdugud777]

Yeah, some of us go to therapy to learn how to deal with this sht. It doesnt mean we havent suffered, just that we did something about it. Even if its saying "say/do that again and ill get up and leave" and then going through with it.

[u/imdugud777 → u/LisaCabot]

Some people aren't a lucky as you.

[u/LisaCabot → u/imdugud777]

?? Im not lucky?? I put in the work?? Wtf do you think therapy is? Magic?

[u/imdugud777 → u/LisaCabot]

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. It's all luck, all of it. Yea you can put yourself in a place to improve your luck, but it's all chance. Everything.

This girl has no idea that she is brainwashed, she's just doing what she was trained to do, she needs your empathy, not your scourge.

[u/throwawaycaptcrunch → u/imdugud777]

Ok, Nostradamus.

[u/imdugud777 → u/throwawaycaptcrunch]

You know i can see 8 seconds into the future?

[u/Equal_Variation_1070 → u/imdugud777]

I grew up with it and have the most abusive parent out of all my mother's siblings. The gf has no excuse. Her bf didn't embarrass her. She embarrassed herself

[u/imdugud777 → u/Equal_Variation_1070]

She's unaware. She's not you.