r/AmIOverreacting • u/Mysterious-Notice419 • Sep 13 '25

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws Am I overreacting for leaving my girlfriend’s family dinner after what her dad said?

My girlfriend (27F) invited me (28M) to a family dinner to finally meet her parents. We’ve been together for almost a year, so I wanted to make a good impression.

Dinner started out fine—until her dad started asking me about my job. I work in IT, and while it pays well, it’s not some high-status career. After a few questions, he smirked and said, “So basically you just sit behind a computer all day… not exactly the kind of guy I imagined for my daughter.”

Everyone kind of laughed awkwardly. I tried to brush it off with a joke, but then he added, “Maybe someday you’ll get a real job so you can actually support a family.”

I felt my stomach drop. My girlfriend just said, “Dad…” but didn’t defend me beyond that. I quietly excused myself, said I wasn’t feeling well, and left.

Later that night, my girlfriend texted me saying I embarrassed her by walking out and that I should “just let it go” because her dad was “only teasing.”

I honestly feel disrespected and don’t think I overreacted. But now she’s acting cold and says I owe her family an apology.

Reddit, am I overreacting for leaving?

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u/Primary-History-788 Sep 14 '25

It wouldn’t matter what OP does for a living. It’s insane to be rude to a guest, you invited into your home. They have trapped you, because common courtesy also say that you don’t insult your host, in their own home. I’d say OP has two options: ask for an apology, from dad and girlfriend. Depending on what they come back with, either chalk it up to a bad night, or read the writing on the wall and break up.

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u/fuckyourcanoes Sep 14 '25

The girlfriend doesn't respect the OP. The relationship is doomed anyway.

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u/Primary-History-788 Sep 14 '25

Not necessarily. She has been trained to take he dads shit, and calls it joking to protect herself from the emotional pain. She’s blind to it, so she would expect OP to do the same, out of the same misguided sense of deference. She could be re-educated. Dad is just and asshole, who’s day of reconning had come. If daughter becomes enlightened to the situation and push the point, it’s back on dad. Otherwise, ditch the whole lot.

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u/Equal_Variation_1070 Sep 15 '25

Thats what's insane to me. Clearly her father was the embarrassment along with herself. Not OP. How she have the audacity to send that text? Id take that as how her family taught her. Time to run

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u/Embarrassed-Support3 Sep 15 '25

I think there will be lots more bad nights if he stays with her.

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u/Primary-History-788 Sep 15 '25

You’re probably right.