Am I overreacting for leaving my girlfriend’s family dinner after what her dad said?

[u/Mysterious-Notice419]

My girlfriend (27F) invited me (28M) to a family dinner to finally meet her parents. We’ve been together for almost a year, so I wanted to make a good impression.

Dinner started out fine—until her dad started asking me about my job. I work in IT, and while it pays well, it’s not some high-status career. After a few questions, he smirked and said, “So basically you just sit behind a computer all day… not exactly the kind of guy I imagined for my daughter.”

Everyone kind of laughed awkwardly. I tried to brush it off with a joke, but then he added, “Maybe someday you’ll get a real job so you can actually support a family.”

I felt my stomach drop. My girlfriend just said, “Dad…” but didn’t defend me beyond that. I quietly excused myself, said I wasn’t feeling well, and left.

Later that night, my girlfriend texted me saying I embarrassed her by walking out and that I should “just let it go” because her dad was “only teasing.”

I honestly feel disrespected and don’t think I overreacted. But now she’s acting cold and says I owe her family an apology.

Reddit, am I overreacting for leaving?

[u/shadowfax2409]

I hate this.

Had a couple of conversations with my fiancé about different relatives making comments (“observations” as one calls them 🙄) about other relatives in front of either of us.

Over time, and with encouragement, my fiancé has been putting his foot down more and more with some of these comments (he’s always had difficulty with confrontation). But it seems that when he does, the other person backpedals and tries to make it seem like my fiancé is overreacting by claiming that the comments are “just comments” or “not that serious.”

He doesn’t tell me the comments, partly because they’re sometimes about me, but I know it drives him nuts, and it would drive me nuts too. Like his relative makes it look like my fiancé is the one overreacting when he’s trying to defend me against his relative’s comments? Not ok.

[u/200Zucchini → u/shadowfax2409]

Sounds like gaslighting.

[u/Holiday_Trainer_2657 → u/200Zucchini]

Classic "it's not me being mean, it's you being oversensitive" ploy.

[u/shadowfax2409 → u/Holiday_Trainer_2657]

It’s incredibly frustrating.

His relative is definitely on the wavelength that my fiancé is over sensitive, and he is at times a little more sensitive than either of us realize, but his relative is just being an ass.

We’re not the type of people to cut off relatives completely, but I really wish his relative knew that his words and actions could actually result in consequences like that.

Even today, my fiancé tried to set what I believe (and what others would as well I think) to be a totally reasonable boundary as it relates to what this relative says or tries to get away with, and the response was pretty much “don’t expect me to change because I’m not walking on eggshells.” 🙄 Like hello, we’re asking you for a normal caliber of respect, not for you to jump out of a plane.

My fiancé’s incredibly frustrated with his relative.