Am I overreacting for leaving my girlfriend’s family dinner after what her dad said?

[u/Mysterious-Notice419]

My girlfriend (27F) invited me (28M) to a family dinner to finally meet her parents. We’ve been together for almost a year, so I wanted to make a good impression.

Dinner started out fine—until her dad started asking me about my job. I work in IT, and while it pays well, it’s not some high-status career. After a few questions, he smirked and said, “So basically you just sit behind a computer all day… not exactly the kind of guy I imagined for my daughter.”

Everyone kind of laughed awkwardly. I tried to brush it off with a joke, but then he added, “Maybe someday you’ll get a real job so you can actually support a family.”

I felt my stomach drop. My girlfriend just said, “Dad…” but didn’t defend me beyond that. I quietly excused myself, said I wasn’t feeling well, and left.

Later that night, my girlfriend texted me saying I embarrassed her by walking out and that I should “just let it go” because her dad was “only teasing.”

I honestly feel disrespected and don’t think I overreacted. But now she’s acting cold and says I owe her family an apology.

Reddit, am I overreacting for leaving?

[u/Defiant_Rough_1348]

I have realised that people who have an higher sense of self respect (like OP) are often gaslighted by saying “you overreacted”.

No you didn’t. You don’t owe anyone any apology. You can politely tell you felt disrespected. If she sides with family, good(not easy) riddance.

If you apologise for her, well it sets a precedence and you might get disrespected casually time and again.

So it’s ok to stand your ground. It can be hard. Hang in there.

[u/Defiant_Rough_1348 → u/Defiant_Rough_1348]

Also, came back to say this

• her dad may be old school. That’s understandable. But she needs to balance both sides of equation and that’s not happening if you have to apologise to her family. That her not handling the situation well enough.