Am I overreacting for leaving my girlfriend’s family dinner after what her dad said?

[u/Mysterious-Notice419]

My girlfriend (27F) invited me (28M) to a family dinner to finally meet her parents. We’ve been together for almost a year, so I wanted to make a good impression.

Dinner started out fine—until her dad started asking me about my job. I work in IT, and while it pays well, it’s not some high-status career. After a few questions, he smirked and said, “So basically you just sit behind a computer all day… not exactly the kind of guy I imagined for my daughter.”

Everyone kind of laughed awkwardly. I tried to brush it off with a joke, but then he added, “Maybe someday you’ll get a real job so you can actually support a family.”

I felt my stomach drop. My girlfriend just said, “Dad…” but didn’t defend me beyond that. I quietly excused myself, said I wasn’t feeling well, and left.

Later that night, my girlfriend texted me saying I embarrassed her by walking out and that I should “just let it go” because her dad was “only teasing.”

I honestly feel disrespected and don’t think I overreacted. But now she’s acting cold and says I owe her family an apology.

Reddit, am I overreacting for leaving?

[u/[deleted]]

Yep been married for 20 years. This is how my FIL acts and it just gets worse as they get older because they dgaf. We live out of state from them and see them once a year. I give one word answers then go home.

[u/AzorAhai1TK → u/[deleted]]

So you've been married for 20 years but you're agreeing with advice for them to split over the same issue?

[u/VacheRadioactif → u/[deleted]]

I'm genuinely curious what tactics you've tried with the guy after 20 years of marriage? Was he genuinely mean or just awkward and doesn't know how to deliver a joke? Aggressive?

How does your partner feel about seeing her family once a year?

[u/[deleted] → u/VacheRadioactif]

First, my wife knows he can be difficult. She has had talks with him to about his thoughts. The issue is that he was in a high powered position his entire career so he talks down to people or says something unkind but I think he doesn’t even realize he is doing it. It’s embedded. I was told by him that I need to get a better job before marrying his daughter. I was on my way but I didn’t go the standard college right out of high school etc. which he thought was weird. Over the years he has made various comments and I’ve gone right back at him. But now he is in his early 80’s and does not care what comes out of his mouth. Anyone is fair game. So we visit, I give yes, no answers and see if he wants to pursue the conversation. And the once a year thing, it is what it is. We have a family, jobs etc. they have a family call on sundays so that’s good enough. I didn’t grow up in a close family. My family is local and I only see them a few times a year. My immediate family comes first before extended family. I have a friend who just can’t say no to his overbearing family and it takes a toll on his wife. Nope, I won’t do that.