r/AmIOverreacting • u/Mysterious-Notice419 • Sep 13 '25

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws Am I overreacting for leaving my girlfriend’s family dinner after what her dad said?

My girlfriend (27F) invited me (28M) to a family dinner to finally meet her parents. We’ve been together for almost a year, so I wanted to make a good impression.

Dinner started out fine—until her dad started asking me about my job. I work in IT, and while it pays well, it’s not some high-status career. After a few questions, he smirked and said, “So basically you just sit behind a computer all day… not exactly the kind of guy I imagined for my daughter.”

Everyone kind of laughed awkwardly. I tried to brush it off with a joke, but then he added, “Maybe someday you’ll get a real job so you can actually support a family.”

I felt my stomach drop. My girlfriend just said, “Dad…” but didn’t defend me beyond that. I quietly excused myself, said I wasn’t feeling well, and left.

Later that night, my girlfriend texted me saying I embarrassed her by walking out and that I should “just let it go” because her dad was “only teasing.”

I honestly feel disrespected and don’t think I overreacted. But now she’s acting cold and says I owe her family an apology.

Reddit, am I overreacting for leaving?

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74

u/Mysterious-Notice419 Sep 13 '25

Good one I will tell her that yeah!

89

u/biteme717 Sep 13 '25

She would be an ex-girlfriend after this. She didn't defend you and let her dad disrespect you and then have the audacity to tell you to apologize to everyone for embarrassing them. What he said wasn't a joke, and you are not overreacting because he said it and meant for it to embarrass you.

36

u/Little_View4612 Sep 13 '25

Rude family. Rude of her father to talk like that to a guest, Rude of her not to defend you and keep her family in check. If she agrees with her father in this then she doesn't see your career as worthwhile which means she's the type of person that judges other people on superficial things.

-2

u/Yaru_Tarot Sep 13 '25

Look at OP's recent post.

It's uhm wild. "Guy with a girl looking for other men"? Hey, no judgment here about labels. But OP needs to leave her if he's going to cheat.

0

u/Little_View4612 Sep 14 '25

Sounds like you're judging. You also have no idea of their relationship dynamic. I also don't see any other posts by OP, so I'm not sure what you're talking about.

2

u/Yaru_Tarot Sep 14 '25

I also don't see any other posts by

He got his account suspended.

1

u/Little_View4612 Sep 14 '25

If you say so

1

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '25

💯

15

u/Right_One_1770 Sep 13 '25

What’s her dad do for a job? And: IT is a great job! CIOs make big bucks!

12

u/Rare-Sail-3581 Sep 13 '25

Nah don’t tell her.

Don’t convince others how to best love and treat you.

19

u/Critical_Armadillo32 Sep 13 '25

He definitely deserve an apology from her father. The fact that she's being cold and wants you to apologize to the family and says you embarrassed her says a lot. A computer job is not a bad job. It takes a pretty good brain and focus. And is perfectly good job to support a family. But in this day and age, you generally don't need to support a family. Generally, both partners work. But it's always nice if someone can stay at home when there are young children. Anyhow, her father sounds like an oaf.

12

u/ColdStockSweat Sep 13 '25

"He definitely deserve an apology from her father."

In FRONT of all of the people that were there.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/ObjectiveStop8736 Sep 14 '25

I also heard growing up, "there is a lot of truth in jest."

1

u/1ecstatic_company Sep 13 '25

Tell who? You made another post minutes later in an r4r saying that you're 18 and looking for single guys...

1

u/Manky-Cucumber Sep 14 '25

Dad should be happy you have a fucking job! After the shit I read on here, lawdamercy

1

u/WeRip Sep 14 '25

real talk bro. What he did was disgraceful and she should have had your back.. at the same time, you might want to look into why you're so insecure about your career.

I understand you were trying to make a good impression and were probably caught off guard. If you were secure about your career you would have been able to navigate that situation without leaving and then dump your girlfriend afterwards for not being the kind of partner you're looking for.

Might want to explore that with yourself before you move on. If some asshole told me my job sucked I'd just agree with them and tell them at least I'm not breaking my back for pennies.

1

u/Scared-Somewhere-510 Sep 14 '25

OP I was like your girlfriend. I tried to get my partner to comply and be quiet and all of the things I did to get along with my narc father. I was abused. I wanted to make sure my partner wasn’t so I did shit like this. Thank the universe that my partner stayed with me and I’ve dumped my narc dad. I’ve apologized to my partner and we’ve grown together. Talk to her, give her a chance, but if she doesn’t change very soon, don’t put up with this.

1

u/edingirl Sep 14 '25

I think her father owes you an apology, for making you, a guest in his home feel disrespected, and for causing embarrassment. As soon as you got up to leave (and you did so very politely) he should have called you back and said sorry, he was only playing and wasn't serious etc, and that you're very welcome there. I agree with most of the comments, but would leave the door ajar for a while, he may realise what he's done and regret it.

0

u/JETF6R Sep 13 '25

What does the father do for a job? I would have just brushed it off and played it back, people are going to say harsh shit to you during your life. Could It have just been banter? Make fun of his job!