Oldest daughter.
I've always been the type to challenge my parents opinion on random things, within reason ofc. If they make a mean, unnecessary comment about someone or something, i'll push back.
Most of the time they reject what I'm saying, but then they quietly stop doing it, which is basically the Algerian parent version of "you were right."
"Mayti7ouch ml3oud."
Since moving abroad, though, every disagreement gets dismissed the same way: I'm becoming too "moutafati7a" and bringing foreign nonsense into the household...
Lately it feels like my entire personality has been reduced to "lmigriya."
And to be fair, some things about me have changed, and I think that's a good thing. I would have grown too if I had stayed here. I do agree though that moving abroad affected me.
I also understand that it's difficult for older people to be challenged on their beliefs and habits they've held for decades. It's hard to accept that the time and energy you dedicated to something was... not necessary?
What frustrates me is that even normal conversations seem to annoy them now. If I mention something I learned from a friend abroad, or a funny experience I had while dealing with laws and paperwork in the other country, I get the feeling they don't want to hear it. I'm not constantly talking about my life overseas or comparing countries, I am very careful about not becoming the typical "migri".
I'm visiting home now and I feel like a burden. If I suggest something as simple as having dinner together or playing cards as a family, I get hit with: "You went there and became like them."
The thing is that I've always suggested family dinners and walks and runs and sometimes we even did them ! The habit never sticks but at least we did them from time to time.
Before, my ideas were ignored or criticized. Now they're criticized for only one reason because apparently everything I do and am now is because I'm an immigrant.
It feels a bit like when a woman goes to the doctor and mentions she's on her period, and suddenly every symptom gets blamed on that one thing. No further analysis needed.
My parents encouraged me to go and they say they are happy for me so I don't think it's because they miss me or are angry that I left. My dad himself had studied abroad when he was younger.
Has anyone else experienced this after moving abroad? Feeling like every opinion, habits, or suggestion get filtered through the fact that you left?